memories and musings.

For someone who strives to remember everything, it sure is hard to hold onto some memories. Especially the ones I shouldn't want to remember. The man who sat next to me on the bus today smelled like booze. Maybe it was just my imagination, but whatever the reason for the smell, it was familiar to me. As I stared out the window I "ran" the smell through my mind trying to find the correct location for its familiarity. Then it hit me. The memory came back completely in that moment. It's still with me now.

The smell reminded me of a time when I was young, a little bit lonely, and a little too willing to be someone else for a night. The reason I want to remember is so that I can remind myself of where I was, and where I am now. Of a time when I was sad and needed something I thought I couldn't get anywhere else: comfort. That smell brought me back to that time and place and specific moments that weren't my proudest. I remember exactly what his lips felt like. What his breath smelled like (which was probably what mine smelled like, too). I wanted him to put his arm around me, to hold me close and not let go for the night. I wanted to be someone else, someone who did whatever she wanted, with whoever she wanted.

I want to keep these kinds of memories among the good ones, because I'm afraid I'll forget what that felt like, and end up back in that place again. But more than that, I want to remember exactly how I've gotten to where I am today. What made me this person? Why don't I do those kinds of things? I need to remember in order to continue being who I am. If I ever falter, I can look back on my life and remember the ways I've already tried to cope, and hopefully not repeat them.

Memories are meant to remind us. Of good things and bad, of frightening and comforting things. We are meant to remember, not only to tell others about the ways of the world, but to remind ourselves what we've already tried and failed or succeeded at. We must constantly remind ourselves of our accomplishments so that we never forget what we've achieved, and what we're capable of, so that we will always strive to do amazing things. We must also remember our failures, and times when we've strayed, in order to prevent the same things from happening again. This is the only way we can grow and change for the better.

New Moon Girls internship!

I want to share with you all (y'all) a bit about my internship. For those of you who are wondering (as I was in my last post!). My "title" is Multi-Media Intern. I work on the marketing aspects of the magazine/online community. I post from NMG's Google+ page to organizations about upcoming events on NewMoon.com, I write the weekly Girls Enewsletter (my first one goes out this week!), I also update the Enews emails lists when needed, I post on NMG's Google+ page about upcoming events from our affiliates, and I also moderate the website (4 hours/week checking and approving EVERYTHING the girls post on the site).

Today I had a mini freak out moment when I realized, again, how exciting and awesome it is that girls all over the world are going to read MY enews this week! I am so excited to be able to reach all those girls, even if it is only a weekly update on what's going on at NMG. My enews impacts thousands of girls worldwide; how cool is that?!

Also, I'm finally getting the hang of things around NMG. It's completely online, which is great for my schedule, but hard for me to keep up with. I have to constantly push myself to check/remember what I need to do and when I need to do it. It's a challenge for me so far, but I'm keeping up with it and learning along the way. I can already tell that this internship is changing me for the better. I can't wait to re-evaluate myself after the semester's over!

So, at the risk of sounding like Miss Marketing of NMG, check out the site, register as a parent or girl ages 8-15 or even a gift-giver, and get involved! I hope you enjoy it!


Ayla R. Otto, Multi-Media Intern

 

   

Luna's Blog 

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Email: aylanewmoon@gmail.com

an EXCITING update on my life (seriously)

So, holy cow it's been a long time since I blogged! Sorry for any of you looking for updates =]] But since school starts next week, I've been forced to think about my plans for the school year, and decided to update anyone who wants to know.

First of all, I'll be a senior this year! My last year of college, I'll graduate with 2 degrees: a B.A. in German Studies and a B.A. in English-Liberal Arts. I'm not sure what I will do with either of these degrees, but I'd love to work at Hallmark, study abroad/work abroad, and/or go to grad school for English or Creative Writing. A lot to think about, but I have time. I'm only 20 after all.

Which leads to my next life event: my 21st birthday! I'll FINALLY be 21 on September 10th. It's a Monday night, and a school night, so I'm not sure what I'll be doing, but Trista, Jason, and Nova will be up here for part of that weekend, as will Mike's parents. It will be a good weekend seeing people I miss from home =]] I'm excited to finally be "old" lol.

Speaking of feeling old, Jenna moved into her dorm on Sunday! Holy crap! I'm so excited for her, but I also feel kinda old.... Haha. She's going to do so many big things. I can just feel it. She's so dedicated to her music and school, she'll go far. ("You're gonna go far kid")

Anyway, back to me ;) I got an internship! I'll be working for school credit for New Moon Girls, an online magazine for girls ages 8-15. I'm not sure exactly what I'll be doing, but it could be anything from editing to marketing to writing blog posts for the website. I hope I'll get to do lots of writing. It'll be at least 10 hours a week, and I get to work from home! Which is super convenient for me this semester since I'll have school AND my job at Holiday Inn.

I'll be working 2-3 days a week at the hotel, hopefully only 2 days. If it gets too busy I'll drop it down to 2 days. Anyway, work has been going well. I work 5 days a week, although the last month and a half I've been getting faster at cleaning my rooms and therefore getting done with work early. Which significantly affects my paychecks. But at least I get more freetime =]]

In my freetime I've been hanging out with Mike, my roommates occasionally, reading (I've read all three Hunger Games books and then some), and yesterday crafty projects! I made a case for my Kindle out of an old book (which kind of failed, but it'll be useful anyway). I've been working on "decorating" a Crown Royal bottle with the drippings of candles (2 candles dripped so far, super cool). I also hung pictures of shoes on a portion of my wall (Kelly gave me a page-a-day calendar last year of shoes). It's pretty sweet.

Now onto bigger and better things :) I'll FINALLY be going to Germany this year! Yes, I know, it's a miracle. I've been studying German for 7 years and am finally going to go there. I haven't been accepted into the program yet, but I'm pretty sure I'll be a shoe-in =]] It's over winter break starting December 26 and going until January 13. It's a hardcore program with a ton of learning involved. It's worth 4 credits (which leaves me with 1 extra German credit for my major), just barely making enough credits for graduation =]] We stay in a big house, there's 15 of us. We go to tons of museums and historical places. We do a bunch of projects and presentations, ALL in Deutschland! I'm actually really nervous/freaking out about the whole thing, but I can't WAIT to be in Germany! Speaking German with other germans! =D

So, that's my update. Feel like I'm forgetting something, but I can always blog again soon =]]
Tschussi! (cutesy Ayla-esque way of saying goodbye in German =]])