Ever changing, ever writing

Do you ever realize that you're changing? I mean, obviously we're all constantly changing, every second of every day, but do you ever realize it? In the last few days, I've noticed I'm changing, or that I have changed. I spent a lot of my spring break with Mike, and we had a nice, relaxing, lazy week together. Boring, I know, but this week I've been thinking, that we have changed a lot. And by "we" I mean me, because I can't speak for Mike (even though I try to sometimes...). Thinking back on all my past relationships, short as they may have been, I can see the change in myself. Especially with Mike. I've been dating him for over 4 and a half years now, and I've changed SO much during that time. It hit me, yesterday or the day before I think, that I'm growing into a different kind of relationship with Mike, at least on my end of things. I've loved him for a long time, but I really and truly see that now. I would do anything for him, which, if you know anything about me, is saying quite a bit, me being the semi-selfish person that I am. I want him in my life from now until forever, etc. etc.

I won't bore you with too much more of this, but my point is I am aware of that change. It probably happened over the last few years, but over the last week it has manifested itself so completely that I noticed it happening. We have been really great around each other, not so much bickering, which, for us, is part of our daily routine; plenty of laughing and joking around, with neither of us being offended; and I have even been pretty darn witty lately, which is awesome for Mike and I because he's constantly cracking jokes or being witty and I had plenty of nice comebacks =]], AND I have been able to predict almost every single one of his punch lines and comebacks. None of that may make any sense to anyone else, but it all helped me realize that I'm changing, like I've said probably about ten times already in this short post.

It is so interesting to me that I am witnessing my own change! Normally, I hate change and avoid it at almost all costs, but this kind of change is definitely a good thing. I am growing up, I'm almost done with my Junior year of college, and Mike is graduating in May, which is getting me mentally prepared for my own graduation and my own future (being mentally prepared for any event, big or small, is essential to my existence; I would probably die if I wasn't able to prepare for most things in my head before they happen. And no, I'm not crazy, at least I don't think so, at least not yet). Anyway... this change thing is spectacular for me for so many reasons:
A. I LIKE it.
B. It's a positive thing for my relationship and for the rest of my future.
C. It's bringing me closer to Mike, which isn't necessary, but I think it's going to help us in the long run.
D. It has made me think about things I hadn't thought of before, and things I always think about in new ways.
(I enjoy lists, and I even do this "A, B, C..." thing when I'm speaking to people =]])

Anyway, I guess my posts aren't always geared towards other audiences, but I like to make people think, because I think about things a LOT. And not just trivial things, important things, and things that I think are interesting enough to blog about, or at least interesting enough that I want to write them down, to keep them forever so I can come back to them and remember what I thought when i was 20 years old. I am ever trying to remember everything, which is impossible, I know, but blogging/journaling/talking helps me accomplish my inconceivable goal in life: to remember everything I ever thought, said, and wrote. Hopefully someday I'll write a memoir, that would be amazing. I think my life would make an interesting book, and if not a memoir, at least a novel loosely based on my life. That'll be my best-selling novel. Look for it at your local bookstore in the next 10-60 years.

Happy remembering!
Ayla Rosemarie

Update on life and swing dance 2012!

So.. it has been a LONG time since I last blogged. So here goes nothing. A lot has happened since June: worked at James Gang, Abby got married, started my Junior year at UMD, Mike and I are even closer, family drama, Mary's engaged! Now my roommates and I are hopefully signing a lease on an apartment soon. It's weird how time flies by! At least once I take a step back and look at my life in the last 9 months.

I've realized that things change while staying the same. I am growing up every minute that passes, but I don't feel like I have changed at all. I've been thinking about marriage a lot lately, thanks to Mary, and having children, or puppies, or kittens. Mike's best friend just got a husky puppy. He is the cutest thing I've ever seen, and I want a puppy! Or a baby. Or just to speed up my life a little. Mike's graduating in May, and I still have a year left of school. It's so weird to think that he'll be done with college, and that I'm next! Crazy! And my sister's graduating high school in June. My life has kind of passed me by, so I've been trying to take more minutes everyday to appreciate my life so far. People don't appreciate what they have as often as they should, and I am no exception. Maybe that's my Lenten Goal, to appreciate what I have in my life. I'm working on it. Starting with my family, because they don't get enough credit for what they've done and what they continue to do.

I suppose I should end this post with something fun and exciting! Mike and I have been taking ballroom dancing at school, it's not what either of us thought it would be, but it's been helping us learn how to work through difficult challenges, if nothing else. And we have the opportunity to go to our hometown's annual swing dance next week, to show off our "mad" lindy skills. I'm really excited about it, and I think it'll be fun for us!

Just dance! <3